For the past few weeks, I have really been analyzing my life and more importantly, the 'quality' of life. I am so stressed these days. Crazy, busy days at work and then coming home to a house that I just haven't been able to manage lately, to these projects that I keep coming up with, and now adding to that: studying for the NCIDQ, I just am exhausted and simply not enjoying life right now.
I have too much going on. I can't say no. It's become a problem.
Brodie is growing up so quickly and I can't enjoy him because I am so stressed that our house isn't clean or the laundry isn't put away. I can't devote my full attention to him (or my relationship with any other family member) because I have so much swarming in my head that I can't focus.
At Sunday School this past week, we talked about giving it up to God. At times we feel that we can take care of it all and just rely on God during the storms. Our teacher mentioned that he had been struggling with enjoying his job and decided to give it up to God. Within months, he has gotten a totally different outlook on his job and is now loving it. That hit home with me. I realized that I can't do it all on my own. I started praying about my life and how to get peace and enjoyment out of things these days. Guess what my answer was: say no, stop trying to do so much, be ok living in the moment. How did I not think of that myself? I did, but I felt guilty doing just that. All it took was a nudge from God to get me moving in the right direction.
So in order for me to start getting a grip on my life again and to get where I can enjoy everyday life again, I have decided to say goodbye, for now, to the blog. I might post every now and then, but it will be for pure delight-- not because I feel like I need to.
I am also going to stop getting on FB everyday as I do now, read fewer blogs, and watch less tv. I added up 3-4 hours a day that I spend doing these things. That time could be put to better use with cleaning, playing with Brodie, projects, or socializing.
This is a sad moment for me because blogging has become a part of my routine- as I do things I think- 'oh that could go on the blog'. But it is also a relief. One less thing on my plate to worry about.
I hope that everyone who does read my blog understands where I am coming from. Please keep me in your prayers as I learn to say no and to begin enjoying life again. I am looking forward to a simpler life.
So it's not goodbye... just 'See you later alligator'.