Baby Blues

It's been a rough few days weeks to say the least and I need to vent. I completely understand if you stop reading right now--but I just have to get this out there and off my chest.


There have been a lot of ups and downs while waiting for this little blessing to make his arrival.

A quick trip to the hospital at 36 weeks in the middle of the night turned into the nurses stopping labor and us playing the waiting game from that point on. The next day, I went to the doctor and he said it would be within two weeks that I would deliver. Between the excitement of his arrival and the nervousness about his health, it was an exhausting two weeks.

Those days came and went-- no baby. I was thankful that he was staying put and could keep developing but became frustrated by waiting and, of course, just being plain uncomfortable.

At the next appointment, the doctor mentioned that he was starting to be concerned about Brodie's head size. Knowing that I wanted a natural delivery, the doctor thought it would be time to start considering inducing.

This has been by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make and I am so thankful that it was not a decision that I had to make alone. Greg and I discussed the pros and cons of each path. After our discussion, I spoke with my Mom to help me through this decision to make sure we were doing what was best for Brodie. At this point in my life, I don't want to make a wrong decision when it comes to my child. I don't want to do anything that will harm or hinder him, but does anyone really know what the right decision is?

Here is a break down of our pros and cons...

If I get induced....

• I will most likely need an epidural--something I had originally not wanted. But I would rather have an epidural than a c-section. It's not the actual surgery that concerns me, but the after care. Living so far away from family and not having that support team here for that long would be very hard.
• Have the chance at a natural delivery.
• Still have a risk of a c-section. 
• Be able to have my family here when he is born.
• Be delivered by my doctor.

If I don't induce....

• I don't have to make this decision and will go when my body is ready.
• Have a greater chance of a c-section because of his size.
• My parents might not make it here in time for his birth.
• Have better chance at a non-medicated birth.
• Deal with these lovely contractions for even longer.

Basically, I don't want to have to make the decision of when my son will be born. I don't want to make a decision on how it will be convenient for me or my family. I want to do what is right for my son. I want to do what will make him the healthiest and me strong and healthy enough to take care of him. 

If I were to get induced two days before my due date, would that be so wrong? Will it be good for him? Will it be early enough that he won't be to big and I have to have a c-section? Will I regret my decision? Will people think that I am doing it for the convenience?

I have to learn to trust my heart, my head, and my family. People can think what they want to--but I have to learn sometime to make decisions for my son and better now than later. We have to look at the big picture, use the resources that we have, and make the decision as best as we can. 

As Greg and I make our decision, we are reflecting on what our friends', family, and doctor have said. We are trusting our hearts and our heads. We are praying that what ever decision we make, it will be a safe delivery for the both of us and we will all come home healthy and happy.

Please pray for us as we make this decision and as we learn to become parents of this blessed little boy.